Health Authorities Say Jump—The People Say “Toilet Paper!”

When the humorist Dave Barry gathered his strength for a Target run this week, the toilet paper aisle felt like a scene from “The Walking Dead”—except the zombies were live humans panic-buying Charmin.
 
Literally no one told people to hoard toilet paper. Yet it appears that COVID-19 has also infected people’s comprehension skills.
 
A Dave Barry sampler of our collective dialogue with officials:
 
“HEALTH AUTHORITIES: Wash your hands frequently, don’t touch your face and avoid unnecessary contact with others.
 
THE PUBLIC: So we need to buy toilet paper!"
 
But there’s one thing shoppers—except Dave Barry—are definitely not hoarding: Jigsaw puzzles (not a recommended replacement for toilet paper).
 
Miami Herald

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